The One Beside Me

I switched off the lights and went back to the bed. You had already fallen asleep. The moonlight shone through the window onto you. Despite the darkness, I could still make out your features and the body that I had been sleeping next to. I wasn't feeling sleepy yet so I just lay next to you and watched you sleep. You looked even ravishing while you're asleep, just like an innocent sweet child. I wished you were like this everyday. I gently touched your forehead and brushed my hands through your soft hair. I could smell the scent of your freshly washed hair, the scent that I was so used to smelling everyday. I guess you felt me brushing your hair and your hand reached out to your head. I always love this moment when you did that. I laughed to myself. As the clock ticked by, I began feeling drowsy. I covered the blanket over you and me. Under the blankets, I put my arms around you and hugged you. You seemed to have felt that and you held onto my arms. A moment of warmth and happiness I felt, it was short-lived and I began tearing. My tears trickled onto your body, they glided off your skin and stained the bed sheet. They seemed to be telling me that my genuine tears for you had been wasted and we would never be merged as one. I could never permeate into the deepest abyss of yours. As I was holding you tightly, so afraid that you might run away, I knew in my heart there was only you. But as you held onto me, there wasn't an existence of me in your heart. It belonged to someone else. Slowly, the tears dried up and the drowsiness took over me.

Daylight came in. I opened my eyes, trying hard to fight the morning sun that greeted me. You were still asleep with a smile on your face. I looked at you and I thought to myself " I lived in a beautiful dream. One that I might never be able to wake up from despite the pain. I lived my life for the short moment of happiness that I could ever get. It was worth it. Another day starts, what a beautiful mess."