Smoking with You

I just got back home from a long tiring day. I took off my shoes and flopped myself onto the comfortable couch in the living room. It was one of those nights, the air was stale and highly humid, every inch of movement made me sweat. I hated such nights because all I wanted was a good sleep after a long day, now it seemed impossible. To make things worse, the air conditional had not been working that well for the past few nights. I hadn't been sleeping well for the past few weeks. Whenever I closed my eyes to fall asleep, thoughts and words keep coming through my mind. I would think I had lost control of myself and they had took over me. I walked over to the balcony, took out my cigarettes from my briefcase and lighted up. Despite a warm night, there was a slight breeze blowing into my face. I could certain that as my cigarette got sparked up now and then. That felt good. Under the dim light, the smoke from my cigarette seemed to be dancing in the mid sky under the stars. I closed my eyes to enjoy a moment of peace in the night before my thoughts come back to haunt me later. I could feel the nice silence of the night but I knew my heart was still unsettled. I started laughing at myself, ridiculed at myself; for how I could not even enjoy a peaceful smoke break to myself. I broke down wishing they could leave me alone for just some moments, for me to have my regularity back. Suddenly, I felt lifted, I could really feel at ease and my heart no longer felt heavy. It had been a long while since I felt this. I felt you next to me, patting me on my back like you used to. You comforted me, telling me "Boy, everything going to be fine." I knew you used to smoke, I picked up another stick. Never had we smoked together before but tonight seemed to be the night. This time I could really enjoyed my time. As I extinguished my light and walked away, I turned around. I had left the briefcase at the balcony. It was yours, the one that I had always been using and it was next to me all the time. I looked at it and whispered " It's father's day today, Happy Father's day. I love you, dad. " I knew you would be there always looking upon me despite you being gone faraway from my life.